Fw: Life thoughts by Duckky.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Ranjit Santakumar
Date: Thu, Apr 29, 2010 at 2:04 PM
Subject: Fw: Life thoughts by Duckky.
To:

1 Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. 2 I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said 'Implants?' She hit me. 3 How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ? 4 Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. 5 I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! 6 When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.' 7 Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. 8 Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !! 9 Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? 10 Wouldn't you know it..... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever. 11 Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside? 12 And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.